Broken

It is with deep sadness and a broken heart that we have decided to stop our adoption process. Throughout this process we have hit some bumps all of which we embraced and gave praise for, this weekend as a family we hit a pretty large bump that made it evident we needed to work on somethings, before we could add another child to our lives. We are still praising God for this journey we have learned a lot, and I am brokenhearted that it has ended this way but we know it is ultimately what is best for out family and for Henry. As we work towards bettering our family and getting stronger we pray that a new family for Henry is found soon and that God will give him the best and happiest life imaginable. We did not go on this journey by accident and we believe that God has an amazing plan for us, it just wasn't what we had imagined it would be.

We want to thank all of you from the deepest part of our hearts for your support and love through this process. We understand that many of you donated towards this adoption and we could not have made it this far without you, the money in our FSP will remain with Henry it is not in our bank accounts or some stash some where it is with him and we hope that it will inspire a new family to see him and choose him quickly. Other donations were used for parts of the process such as our homestudy, and official documents, I again want to clarify it is not just in our pockets. We also realize some of you who made donations may want your money back, we respect this. If you do please email us derek.kaylee.benz@gmail.com and we will do our best to get that money and get it to you.

We are grateful for your prayers, and for those I have already talked to today for your understanding and love. This is a hard time and it was an unbelievably hard decision. Please continue to pray for us through this hard time. I feel like I have let a lot of people down, including sweet Henry. One of the hardest parts about ending this is how publicly it must be done but we have been committed to honesty and transparency so here we are, raw and broken and we will probably need a lot of love and grace in the upcoming weeks as our hearts heal.

It is my sincere hope that our journey though not the best example will have opened one person's eyes and hearts towards adoption. We hope that you will continue to wear our shirts and talk about orphans.

Thanks again. We love and appreciate all of you.

We are SUBMITTED!! Things are getting real!

    Last week on Facebook, I asked for prayers knowing that this could be a very big week for us, and as of Thursday we got our big news! We are submitted. To clarify what that means, we are now waiting for them to tell us when our appointment to receive Henry's file will be, in short we are waiting for them to say COME MEET HIM!!! The current average from date of submission to referral appointment is 4 weeks! Yes you read that right 4 weeks!!! Thank you for your prayers! This is the stage we have been waiting for as we do loads and loads of paperwork, as we wait for people to approve us. The finish line is near! As I say this I also want to mention that though this process has seemed long at times in the big picture it isn't long at all, we are blessed that the country we are adopting from is fairly quick. We know people who are adopting and their processes are much longer, families who are waiting to meet their child, families waiting to go back for the gotcha trip, and families waiting to be chosen. Adoption looks different for everyone and I want to encourage you to pray for those families too, those families whose days are extra long as they wait. Waiting is never easy.

I promised myself I would remain calm, that on Thursday (the day people are usually submitted) I would not check my phone more than normal. That didn't happen...I was a crazy lady refreshing and refreshing and when I finally saw the news I went crazy! I was so excited and then I panicked, I tried to think of every possible thing I needed to get done, every possible scenario for packing and travel, and then I paused and thought of the moment I get to meet my son, the moment that all of this crazy is worth it. That pause was so crucial, I paused and thanked God for all he has done for us on this journey, I paused and rejoiced. This has been a great journey, and as we approach this finish line, I am getting excited for the next leg of the race, the leg in which we learn what a new normal is and where there is one less orphan in this world. We had a lot of fun as a family this weekend doing small things to prepare for being a family of 4, even as I type that I get butterflies!

                                  

Griffin trying out his brother's newly decorated bed!

We could be in country in 4 weeks! BUT we still need some help! We are still quite a bit short on what we need to bring him home. We are so grateful for all of you who have given to our adoption and for those of you who have prayed for us. We are currently praying for financial mountains to be moved, if you would consider sharing out story with a friend or two that would mean everything. I am currently making loads of bow ties and taking as many photo clients as I can mentally handle but it so far is not enough we still need several thousand dollars. We are hoping that some grant money will come through, and we know God can do anything so we are once again trusting him and sharing our need with you. Thank you for following our story, thank you so much for your support through this crazy process! 

If you or anyone you know would like a bow tie, have them contact me :) I can special make them in many designs!